About the Doula!

Hi, My name is Karen Berhow. Let me tell you a bit about myself, my birth history, and why I am a doula.

I had my children 41, 39 and 34 years ago (yes, I was a very young mom!). My first birth was a planned natural birth in a hospital. We took an eight week series of Lamaze classes which was taught by an RN at our hospital. During our classes she showed us home movies of home births she had attended as an observer. I was quite shocked to learn that some women were actually choosing to return to the practice of delivering their babies at home and was quite intrigued by these videos (this was the 1970’s and I was a bit of a “hippie”!). My first birth actually went quite well. I was fortunate to be delivering in a hospital which was starting to embrace natural childbirth. Only one person was allowed to be in my private labor room with me, which, in my case was my husband, so my mother was unable to be there (which was one of the down sides for me). I had a wonderful nurse and I remember her filling the role of a doula from around the time I reached a dilation of 7 cm until I had my baby. She never left my side. I was moved from my labor room to a “delivery room” (kind of like an operating room) once my baby was ready to be born. Even though I went on to have a natural delivery, I remember it not being very comfortable on that metal table! While the actual birth was everything I had hoped for, what followed was very disappointing. I was allowed to hold and nurse my baby for about a half hour and then he was taken away from me, taken to the nursery, and I was not allowed to have any physical contact with him for the next 12 hours! I could only go down to the nursery and look at him through the window. The following morning he was brought to me but only every 4 hours for feedings. Later that day I checked myself and my baby out of the hospital and took him home where I could hold him as much as I wished!

Fast forward to 18 months later. I was pregnant again and did not want to have a hospital birth for several reasons: All the negative stuff that had happened at my first birth (the hospital still did not offer any type of “rooming in”), I did not want to be gone from my son who would be two years old at the time of the birth, I wanted to have control of who and how many people were there… I contacted my former Lamaze teacher to get the contact information from her on people who would attend a planned home birth. My birth time came and what a different story. I labored in the comfort of my home (no uncomfortable transport to the hospital). I was supported by my birth team. I was allowed to labor wherever I wanted and deliver where I wanted. Side note: I ended up delivering on the sofa! After the birth, all procedures and exams on the baby were done with her right on my chest or in my arms. Shortly after the birth the nurse tucked her and I into my bed. She stayed with us for a few hours and then called us a couple of times that day to check on us. I have a vivid memory of my son being held by my mother-in-law, sucking his thumb and pointing at his sister saying “Baby, look!” No separations for any of us!

Five years later I had my last baby. This one was born in the same hospital my first was born in. There were several reasons we chose a hospital birth this time. One was financial. We had insurance to cover the hospital birth and were not in a position to pay out of pocket for a home birth again. Another reason was that this hospital now had advanced to a modern approach and allowed “rooming in” for the baby with the mom. And, my older two were now 5 and 7 and I was not quite as concerned with being away from them for a day or so.

Even though each birth was different, I was able to look back on each of my births and honestly say that they were the best days of my life. It made me so sad when I would hear my friends and family members recounting their own horror stories of their births. I KNEW that it didn’t have to be that way! I did not know anything about a profession of being a “doula” but I developed a passion for birth (my husband called me a “birth junkie”). I made it my mission to help anyone who would allow me to do so to have the best birth possible. This involved helping to educate them during their pregnancies with their choices and plans, helping them to pick supportive physicians, helping them to line up good prenatal birth classes and then even being present at their births to be their cheering squad and support person.

Over the 30+ years since then (and while having a full time career of my own, outside the birth industry) I managed to support around 50 friends and family members during their prenatal period and was able to support about 20 of them during the births of their babies. I did not charge for these services. I truly considered it a “Labor of Love”. It was my passion, my mission.

In 2014 I found myself retired from my career and ready to move on to something else. Since birth was my passion, I decided to take that passion and turn it into a second career. My mission now is to assist any mother who is willing to hire me to have the best birth possible. That may look different for each mom. I do not consider it my place to dictate what it looks like to her. The mom may be committed to a completely natural birth like I was (possibly even a home birth), or she may want the assistance of either systemic pain relief (medicine that is injected into the body or into an IV port) or an epidural. She may choose from a variety of childbirth methods (Lamaze, Bradley, Hypnobirthing, Hypnobabies…) or just choose to “wing it” and trust her instincts and birth team. And, of course, sometimes things happen to the best laid plans and emergencies arise that cause us to have to change course in the midst of it all! Whatever happens, my job is to help her be able to look back on it all and say that it was the best day of her life! Since starting this new career as a professional doula I have been fortunate to be able to accomplish this with several families. My only regret is that I did not do this many years ago!

It would be my honor to be able to assist you and your family with the birthing of your precious baby. Please contact me if you would like to set up a no obligation interview to discuss your options, my fees and services…